The focus of my blog is fashion, beauty and lifestyle for women over 50 and beyond. Frugal tips and tweaks to help us look and feel our best as we age gracefully. But, there is something deeper that compelled me to create “50 With Flair”. It is about my Reinvention.
As I was writing the draft to describe my reinvention after the age of 50, it brought a flood of words into my mind, all of which beginning with the letter “R”. I did not plan it that way, it just rolled out and presented itself to me, so I’m going with it!
Using the Reinvention “R”s in My Life
This is my list of realizations that I try to be mindful of as life goes on. Nothing rigid, just a few things that I try to think about as life continues to change. I am far from perfect, but I try to keep life in perspective as much as possible.
I chose to be a full-time mother and enjoyed every minute of it, but left my career far behind and have always missed it. Both of my daughters are now young adults. Both of my parents are gone, and we lost three beloved pekingese throughout these years which I cannot bear again. My husband is still working full-time and plans to continue to his maximum time. There were a few small side businesses that ran their course, but what now for me?
Reinvention vs. Re-creation
After total dedication and focus on the “taking care of others” years, I woke up to the revelation that it was time for me to think about myself again. I gave myself permission to quit being selfless and take care of me. My honest “self talk” told me that it was impossible to re-create anything that once was, like my past career and who I was then. Times had changed to never be the same again. Reinvention was the word that kept flowing through my mind over and over. So much so, that I Googled “reinvention over 50” and found a book by Claire Cook, “Never Too Late, Your Roadmap to Reinvention”, which also comes with a workbook. I read the book and attended one of Claire’s seminars at Emory University in Atlanta. Claire’s concepts really cast a fresh light onto how I was feeling. Claire also wrote the book that was turned into a John Cusack movie, “Must Love Dogs”. She’s a pep!
Read & Write
Reading is a nice escape from the never ending news headlines and noise in the world. I joined the Rosemont Book Club online for a no-pressure, pleasant experience with a variety of books and positive group of women.
The main reason I started writing this “50 With Flair” blog (just 5 weeks ago, eek!) is to help women freshen up their fashion and style, and to share my personal thoughts and feelings with other women over 50 who may find something in common with me. I enjoy exercising my writing skills to keep my brain and language skills in shape.
Releasing negative things that have had a huge impact on your life can be difficult. No matter how badly someone hurt me or how much I may have regretted a particular decision or moment in time, it is in the past and not happening anymore, unless I let it happen in my mind. I had to let it go for my own sake. Release the heaviness that causes stress and anguish that can impact physical and mental health.
I rejoice and am thankful every single day that I wake up to a healthy, fully functioning body, no matter how sore it can be at times. After a health scare with breast cancer in 2010, my 50th birthday year, I am thankful for every healthy cancer-free day and try my best to make each day count. We don’t know the number of years we have left or what may happen, but being as positive as possible is my goal. When I was so crazy with worry during that time, my oncologist said, “you will wake up one day and remember that you didn’t think about it the day before.” I am still waiting for that day, but I rejoice in the meantime.
Seeking reinvention of relationships is a necessity for me now, I have a social personality. Online connections are great, but we all need more than virtual friends. This is an odd spot right now that I need to work on. My best long-time friends live two hours away due to the sprawling Atlanta suburbs and I don’t see them as often as I would like to. Friends who are closer are still working, raising younger children, or are taking care of elderly parents or grandchildren.
We are slowly working toward reducing clutter and unnecessary things. The day will come when Honey is ready to retire and we are ready to downsize. While we feel good, we press toward the mark!
Do you like your reflection, what you see in the mirror? I decided that I needed to update my hair, make-up and clothing about a year ago. It was a gradual process to break out of the almost frumpy rut, but I am glad that I did. It feels so good to spruce things up for a more youthful appearance. A timeless yet current look is what I go for, without it looking too trendy or screaming “mid-life crisis”, LOL. If I can soften the appearance of age along the way, why not?
Are you still a roadrunner, adding on projects and things to keep a full schedule and trying to be everything to everyone? I gave myself permission to slow down and quit saying “yes” to everything. I want to have a manageable schedule with some time to breathe and enjoy the moment. I can get caught up in “busy-ness” with projects when I feel the need to be productive. I am still learning to have balance in this area.
Do not feel guilty about splurging on something special that is just for you, reward yourself. If you have accomplished something or it is a special day, then go celebrate! Be generous with genuine compliments to others. Praising others can be reward in itself, “Good job”, “I am so proud of you”, can go a long way when you see that it brings the recipient joy.
Our digital world moves in an instant and it seems to get faster every day. I am “plugged in” just enough to stay current and manage my blog, but I have realized that too much media has its drawbacks. There are days when I minimize my interaction with various platforms, never turn the television on, and I leave my phone in my purse in another room until I feel like checking it.
Being real and authentic is more important to me now than ever. I try to live inside-out without oversharing, and I seek that in others as well.
How about you, are you under reinvention or soon to be? Let me know!
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